It's painful. Your love kills me slowly. My heart starts beating faster when you look at me, i loose the control when i feel your touch, and i'm scared that one day my heart won't be strong any longer to carry your love, it's so heavy. I try to run away, but i'm lost in your thoughts, thoughts about me and about us. Lost in your mind i see my reflection everywhere and it drives me crazy. Why do you do this to me? Why do you kill me so cruelly and yet so softly? I close my eyes in on order not to see you anymore, but your image is the only thing that passes through my head. You're everywhere, in my dreams, in my illusions, in my reality that is created by myself. I'm strong till the moment i see you, i'm on my own until you hold my hand and i'm sure i can survive without you before the very second i think of you. I don't know when i'm being more myself, when i'm with you or when i'm on my own?
Even when you make me cry, i still long to see your smile, which warms my soul and puts a smile on my own face. And even when you hurt me i don't find confession anywhere else but next to you. It hurts, but i still move on, i never look back, i never regret. I fight against myself and my feelings. Sometimes i want to just through away the heart that is beating inside me so wildly, beating just for you. I didn't know loving would be so hard, i couldn't imagine that keeping that love would be even harder. I get weaker every day, keeping the love inside me as a substitute for the strength i had before.
You love for yourself,
I love for you
And that love is taking all i have.
Please, save me from yourself...
© LiLit Ghazaryan