Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Weakest Point

Our weakest points are our feelings, they can destroy even the strongest person in the world. Now I guess it's my turn to fight. I'm standing here against my own feelings that look at me with their kindest look, but I know their plan, I know what they really want from me.
A part of me is fighting against myself, trying to destroy all that i've created during these last couple of years. It's not you I'm complaining about, it's not you who went wrong, it' my own personality arguing with my character. I'm lost among those multiple illusions of myself and I don't even remember what was it that I really wanted. It's not you I blame, it just makes more sense to blame you then myself, I guess.
I do try to hide all those emotions somewhere far, in order not to be able to find them myself, but time to time they appear again and during couple of seconds bring me down to the same level where they had left me. I get up again, torturing myself, I still go up the stairs, the same stairs all over again, knowing exactly what's gonna happen before I reach the top.
My poor tears, they are so weak to change anything. I don't even cry anymore, I lost the great ability to able to cry and let the tears wash away everything...
Strength, that's what I'm longing for, that's what I need most of all, but my feelings are the only ones that control myself. I keep loosing my strength. My own feelings make me weaker. And my weakest point is You...
                                                                                                                             © LiLit Ghazaryan

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