Thursday, September 13, 2012

I Want to be Your Emptiness

  Your silence...
  It's killing me.
  I sit there right next to you, trying to figure out what's going on, doing anything possible to pull out a single word from your mouth, but all you do is just sit there quiet. Without making a single move, you're staring at the same place, at the same emptiness. You don't say a single word, you don't even move your eyes and I can see the same emptiness reflecting in your own eyes. I sit so close to you and still I can't reach you. You just close yourself up, you don't let me get closer to your soul, you build a wall between us in your mind, against which I'm powerless, I'm nothing.
  Why?
Until this very day there's a part of you that you're still hiding from me. Even after I've opened up myself like a book in front of you, you still have dark corners hiding somewhere, not letting the light reach them.
  Am I still a stranger?
  I thought I had won your trust a long time ago, but turns out it was not enough. You broke me, you opened up my eyes. No matter how close I get, you still keep a distance between us. Why?
  How silly of me to believe that this was something different, that there was nothing but a see-through curtain between us and our hearts. Now I see that it's a cage, a glass cage hiding you from all, including me.
  So simple and yet so deep...
  So close and yet still so far...
  Right when I thought I've reached you, you back up again.
  Am I asking for too much?

  I just want to be truly close to you. I wanna be there. I want you to stare at me and not at the empty space. And yes, I will even be willing to be that emptiness for you, just stare at me next time, I will be your emptiness, please, stare at your emptiness... Stare at me...

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