Sunday, January 26, 2014

Just a Woman

She's not in love, she's just a woman, with the obligation to feel and connect emotionally . . .

It's been three years and seven months. He has moved on, but she is still sitting on the old sofa, staring outside the window and feeling defeated. Women like to win, especially when it comes to men, but she felt like she was the looser of the story. He has moved on! That alone made him the winner, automatically. He has a new life, while she is still living in their memories.

There was no love, no past or future. It was an abstract reality that they had created together in her small apartment. Their meetings were neither short nor long because they did not keep track of time. They didn't care about morning or night, there was one time: together. There were no months or days, no weeks or seasons, just one time: together.

Just One Time: Together

They never met outside her apartment, they did not have dates, didn't care about the movies or restaurants, there was one place: together. The space for them was just an illusion, they didn't need any space, their space was simple: together. Even her apartment did not matter, it was all just an appearance, a dream that could take place anywhere, anywhere at all.

Just One Space: Together

There was no love, no connections. There were no obligations or arrangements, just one feeling: together. The spoken words were not carefully selected, the actions were not intentionally observed. The situations were sincere and real, with no covers. They had no labels to attach to themselves or the apartment, no tags to stick on to each other. There was one label: together, a label that proudly hang on the door that wouldn't even be knocked as a warning sign to enter.

Just One Feeling:Together

And now their time and space was crashed, the feeling lost, the label disappeared. The door that had been never knocked on, wouldn't even open now. The apartment that didn't matter got ugly realistic shape for all of a sudden. The time that was frozen started ticking loudly and the calendar kept tearing its own pages to catch up with the season. Together - an illusion that was so sweet became real suddenly, it was so real that it started to hurt. The feelings that were never there sat next to her on the sofa which still carried their memories. Their Time, Space, Feeling - Together, all gone... all gone together. And only one thing left - the pain, not for them but for her alone.

Just One Suffering: Apart

                                                                                                                       © LiLit Ghazaryan

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